Couples Therapy
My specialty is marriage counseling and relationship therapy as I have a passion for helping couples strengthen and deepen their connection. Research shows that if you are trying to cope with marital issues, couple’s counseling is the most effective form of treatment. Science informs us that sometime between 6 months to 2 years, the neurotransmitters our brains produce that create that passionate love feeling subsides and we begin to see with more clarity the fullness of our partner. Unfortunately, couples are often unprepared for this and may lack the tools to navigate our differences or communicate our feelings and needs. Thus, we may resort to ineffective ways of trying to get our needs met. When we resort to negativity in the form of criticism and blame, or employ our well entrenched defenses, we tend to get the opposite response from our partner than we want. For other couples, conflict is incredibly uncomfortable, so issues of disagreement may be avoided or glossed over. Both ineffective cycles may lead to disconnection, gridlock, or questioning if you have fallen out of love.
My overarching goal with couples is to facilitate the development of a secure bond between the couple, where each partner can count on the other to be accessible, attuned, and responsive. To achieve this goal, couples therapy may focus on:
- Facilitating awareness of what each partner brings to the relationship
- Increasing awareness of how each partner contributes to the ineffective repetitive cycle that they engage in when in conflict
- Creating a vision of the type of partner you strive to be, exploring the obstacles that have kept you from being that partner
- Enhancing each partner’s ability to communicate his/her needs from a “softer” position where he/she is more likely to be heard and understood by the partner
- Providing communication tools which enable each partner to truly hear, validate, and empathize with their partner
- Increasing intentionality and consciousness in the relationship
- Encouraging the return to caring behaviors that nurture the marriage
- Eliminating the four horsemen of the apocalypse (specific behaviors identified by John Gottman, PhD that are known to be precursors to divorce or an unhappy marriage)
- Recovering from infidelity
- Understanding the impact of various addictions on the couple relationship
- Understanding the impact of childhood trauma on the marriage
- Facilitating bonding moments which create deeper connection and intimacy over time
- Supporting differentiation in each partner, while balancing the couples interdependence
My dedication and commitment to providing quality treatment as a marriage therapist is exemplified by earning certification as an Imago Relationship Therapist as well as pursuing advanced training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Dr. John Gottman’s Couple’s Therapy, and Dr. Ellyn Bader’s Developmental Couple’s Therapy. I love the work I do and feel privileged to counsel the couples I work with.
I admire you are taking the time to research options. Whether you seek therapy with me or another therapist, make sure that when you select a couple’s therapist, you chose someone who has specifically trained in marriage counseling, post graduate, as it varies greatly from individual therapy.